Of Facebook and Existential Crises

Facebook is a blight upon the earth.

You know that grade school friend you haven’t seen since the last century? A quick search and you see him all grown up with a youngling piggybacking on his shoulders. Wouldn’t it be nice to meet him at a reunion of some sort and catch up in person? Maybe enjoying some barbequed hot dogs in the setting sun. Instead you share e-mails like so much spam. Add such folks as friends, and suddenly the sum of our lives are reduced to a few text boxes in an online profile. Somehow all this instant human contact is dehumanizing.

And there are some people you do not want to keep in touch with, or even hear anything about. Do I need to know what my parents’ ex-spouses from 30-some years ago are up to, or even look like? I think not. I have nothing against them personally, but sleeping dogs need some bloody rest.

Or Facebook just serves to remind you how shallow and fleeting many of your relationships were. Oh, so-and-so from a part-time job a few years back wants to add you as a friend. Once you electronically befriend them and say hi, you have nothing else to say. What you once had in common is lost.

What used to be the sole domain of cherished (or dreaded, etc.) memories now becomes an immediate confrontation with the mundane, unimportant present, as the specters from your past tell you what they had for lunch, or what they think of the latest iPhone app.

If there is anything else on this earth which is a clearer example of mankind’s impossible, grasping attempts at interpersonal connections with the mass of humanity and a disregard for the sacredness of the unchangeable past, I have yet to find it.

That being said, I have a Facebook account and I hate myself a little more each day.

(Note: I wrote this about 9 months ago and quickly unpublished it. I found it again while cleaning up some files and thought it was actually pretty good. I removed some personal details and toned down the alcohol-fueled rage and now present it to the world.)

2 Responses to “Of Facebook and Existential Crises”

  1. joetheshmoe says:

    When I first saw the title and first sentence, I said to myself, naw, facebook ain’t all that bad. As I read the post though, more and more made sense. I think I pretty much agree now :P

  2. Chicky Broke says:

    My work here is done.

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